Even if you have never dared call yourself an artist but have had aspirations to be one then you know what I mean. The anxiety that can suddenly hit you full force like a tidal wave changes your entire life. Suddenly your making choices to back pedal out and away from an artistic choice you made for something more respectable and valued to take it's place.
I woke this morning feeling such anxiety. Sometimes it's the first thought you wake up with. Before you know it, the day you planned, the life you chose is being uprooted. Your heart tightens, you feel tiny and closed up when the day before you felt open and free. You felt "allowed" and now you have an unspoken belief that if you follow your nose it will only get you into trouble. That you had better go to school and take a career that has nothing to do with art or craft.
"But you can do art in your spare time and have a safer income to support you." you say. This is working under the assumption that art and craft does not need a lot of time or work. Some people might be happy working this way and some people might have to work this way for survival rather than doing their art full time.
But what about the rare artist/craftsperson who actually doesn't have to? The rare artist who can afford to commit full time to doing their work rather than taking on a cumbersome career that would clutter their time, taking up too much space. Sometimes even this rare artist who is supported financially is afraid and ready to dodge the consequences of the artistic life they shouldn't have chosen. What should an artist in this position do then? Should they believe their fears for being a premonition? Should they believe that what they choose will not only lead to nowhere but to ruin? Should this artist allow themselves to think so much? Could this artist trust that everything is ok? That everything is safe for them to get on with it and to keep on getting on with it?
Few artists have the luxury of financial support from an external source but those who do feel guilty and ashamed. Poverty is a real and valid fear especially for an artist that grew up with it deep poverty. Any artist, no matter the situation is faced with the prospect of doing it anyway. An artist only gets somewhere by following there nose but to follow our nose we cannot ever know what is distant and far ahead. We only know what is here and now, that is what we have to work with. An artist can look ahead and plan but the nature of this kind of career is that it's not foreseeable. Every artist has different goals and many will not reach them, but we may reach some or at least one.
We get into trouble when we think too much on the future and yet we get into trouble when we don't think about the future at all. Any artist that made it anywhere just did it anyway. It can seem to be the most terrifying thing to do, to just do it anyway. An artist that is productive throws caution to the wind and does it because they know who they are and that they are meant to do this work and no other. They also know that forcing themselves to do something else will never work.
So called safe careers and paths can cost a lot. A person will ramp up more debt and possibly have to move to another city, province/state, sometimes country. When looking at safe careers in this way it's not so safe. Many careers are unstable and many cost money to get into or to stay in. The cost of a few paints and canvas looks extremely small in comparison.
So, if your hit with this kind of anxiety, the artist's anxiety what do you do? Hopefully you'll be able to get yourself to a point where you feel like your breathing and not about to lose everything. You may need to sit, to think, to write, to walk, to be quiet, drink tea, share your thoughts with a trusted friend. It may take a few hours and depending on you and the strength of your fear it may come back. Hopefully it will be managed to a point where there will be no more back pedaling. When you can simply allow yourself the luxury of getting on with it.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
What Do We Need, When Do We Need It?
As artists we run the spectrum from frugal to generous and as artists we can change the definition of these words for ourselves. Each of us must define for ourselves what feeds our artistic soul and what starves us.
For the "traditional" artist, it's generous to shop for supplies. But for an assemblage artist for example it's generous to regularly hunt for unique objects, not necessarily at a store and not necessarily new. Classes, workshops, art related events, books and magazines. All of these things feed the artists soul. The most important element of anything that feeds an artists soul is time and space.
So what about place? Does an artist really need to have a particular environment in order to not just produce but to thrive? Many would say no. That artists should stop making excuses and just do it anywhere. My opinion is yes. Yes artists need an environment to live and not just work which feeds their artistic soul. If an artist thrives in any rural community to large city in any country then that artist is very lucky and an exception.
An artist of any kind is usually sensitive to their environment and needs things from it that most people do not. An artist may thrive best in a quiet, non bustling community while another would crave opportunities and events at their fingertips. Then there is the issue of safety. Some artists have no thoughts to issues of safety. But there are many who do. Safety includes a community that supports you and the work you do. It also includes crime and whether or not there is adequate medical support available.
Sometimes it takes time to realize that a choice that you thought was good for you as an artist was not a complete vision. But that is the great thing about being an artist. We are trained to be spontaneous and creative with our solutions because we can look at everything from different angles. We know when something isn't working. Sometimes it's staring us in the face. Sometimes it's sneaking up on us. We have that feeling that something isn't right and that we can't just sit on our hands hoping that it will be acceptable. Because it isn't and won't ever be. We have to listen to ourselves. Generously listen to what we have to say about exactly what it is that we need and when do we need it?
We can know what we need but say that we can put it off. Putting whatever it is off becomes a habit and at some point there will be a day where it all crumbles down on you. Why would anyone put off getting themselves something that they have admitted that they need? For one, an artist puts off what they know they need until later because though they have admitted they need it, they aren't quite surrendering to the idea. Whatever it is could be quite overwhelming to them. Such as, the choice to pick up your entire life and move to another part of the country or even to a new one. Or it can be as simple as doubting oneself to be able to do something well.
Part of generosity is to allow imperfection, allow mistakes and to chant the mantra "Whatever will be, will be." This is very hard. We feel safer when we believe that we can control and manipulate our lives and things in it to be the way we think it should be. Yet sometimes we are wrong. There may be one of our creations that we loath. And then a friend will fall in love with that piece and have to have it while you stare in awe, not understanding.
We need to feel safe enough and at the same time we need to also let go of that need for safety in order to do anything new and fresh. Part of what builds our confidence is to generously believe in ourselves to take that leap and to generously accept wherever we land. It's stuffy expectations and controlled visions that make us frugal and choke the life out of our creative flow. We are most fed when we pick a direction but also allow a flow for us to follow. We sniff new directions rather than analyzing them to death.
Whatever work you do as an artist choose everyday, some way to be generous and to know the particulars of what that means to you.
For the "traditional" artist, it's generous to shop for supplies. But for an assemblage artist for example it's generous to regularly hunt for unique objects, not necessarily at a store and not necessarily new. Classes, workshops, art related events, books and magazines. All of these things feed the artists soul. The most important element of anything that feeds an artists soul is time and space.
So what about place? Does an artist really need to have a particular environment in order to not just produce but to thrive? Many would say no. That artists should stop making excuses and just do it anywhere. My opinion is yes. Yes artists need an environment to live and not just work which feeds their artistic soul. If an artist thrives in any rural community to large city in any country then that artist is very lucky and an exception.
An artist of any kind is usually sensitive to their environment and needs things from it that most people do not. An artist may thrive best in a quiet, non bustling community while another would crave opportunities and events at their fingertips. Then there is the issue of safety. Some artists have no thoughts to issues of safety. But there are many who do. Safety includes a community that supports you and the work you do. It also includes crime and whether or not there is adequate medical support available.
Sometimes it takes time to realize that a choice that you thought was good for you as an artist was not a complete vision. But that is the great thing about being an artist. We are trained to be spontaneous and creative with our solutions because we can look at everything from different angles. We know when something isn't working. Sometimes it's staring us in the face. Sometimes it's sneaking up on us. We have that feeling that something isn't right and that we can't just sit on our hands hoping that it will be acceptable. Because it isn't and won't ever be. We have to listen to ourselves. Generously listen to what we have to say about exactly what it is that we need and when do we need it?
We can know what we need but say that we can put it off. Putting whatever it is off becomes a habit and at some point there will be a day where it all crumbles down on you. Why would anyone put off getting themselves something that they have admitted that they need? For one, an artist puts off what they know they need until later because though they have admitted they need it, they aren't quite surrendering to the idea. Whatever it is could be quite overwhelming to them. Such as, the choice to pick up your entire life and move to another part of the country or even to a new one. Or it can be as simple as doubting oneself to be able to do something well.
Part of generosity is to allow imperfection, allow mistakes and to chant the mantra "Whatever will be, will be." This is very hard. We feel safer when we believe that we can control and manipulate our lives and things in it to be the way we think it should be. Yet sometimes we are wrong. There may be one of our creations that we loath. And then a friend will fall in love with that piece and have to have it while you stare in awe, not understanding.
We need to feel safe enough and at the same time we need to also let go of that need for safety in order to do anything new and fresh. Part of what builds our confidence is to generously believe in ourselves to take that leap and to generously accept wherever we land. It's stuffy expectations and controlled visions that make us frugal and choke the life out of our creative flow. We are most fed when we pick a direction but also allow a flow for us to follow. We sniff new directions rather than analyzing them to death.
Whatever work you do as an artist choose everyday, some way to be generous and to know the particulars of what that means to you.
Friday, March 20, 2015
Creative Blocks
The term "creative block" is well known among everyone these days. Less known is how to overcome our creative blocks. You'll see plenty of authors of books and blogs on how to "break through" those creative blocks. Over the years I have been admittedly blocked and I chased myself around for answers in journal-ling and hunted for books at the library or in bookstores, articles on-line etc. A lot of methods simply don't work. It's a lot like enforcing a strict diet or forcing a child to "play" something they don't want to.
I have thought on creative blocks to overcome my own over the years and I've learned that in order for a person to "break through" there are a number of things needed and to be done in balance.
The first is compassion. Without compassion, all of our efforts are hard edged and the animal instinct in us quite rightly so, will buck and kick at any effort to "force" anything. This can be the hardest part for all of us no mater where we come from and what we do for a living. Because compassion is the hardest for us to give to ourselves most of the time, it is in my opinion, the main reason why so many artists of any kind fail to overcome their personal blocks. All of us have very personal and unique ways of being mean to ourselves that have been taught to us by the culture and by our family. Without compassion, artists cannot deal with the predicament that they are in for being an artist at this time in history. This predicament is unspoken especially for isolated artists. Everyone has a subconscious understanding of how artists and craftspeople are perceived. Without compassion we are not able to put words to our deepest shame which by it's nature enforces silence and with that silence shame builds in strength.
The second thing that we need to do is self motivation and discipline. Self motivation is important for any artist. At some point in an artists or crafts persons life they will not have anyone who is behind them. Work is done alone and therefore we may not have a cheer leading squad to back us up. Or artists will most certainly be faced with a life situation which may threaten to eclipse their creativity. Self motivation and discipline paired with compassion act as a gentle but firm guiding hand through difficult times. Self discipline and compassion give us a steady endurance and energy to take on tasks that first seem overwhelming or intimidating to us and to commit our energy to doing them every day.
The third is a philosophy built around joy. Often artists and craftspeople become caught up in business and mainstream culture philosophies such as "achievement", "money", and "respect". We become overly concerned with being amazing geniuses as a way to compensate for deep shame for being an artist. We often feel we must always do better than ordinary to prove ourselves worthy for being artists enjoying ourselves while others are toiling at crap jobs sweating and bleeding at the brow. We often create value around anything that has had suffering or a process of denying the self of happiness in some form. We create martyr complexes instead of art because with this mindset we dare not practice. Everything must be a fabulous, genius and final, complete piece of work. We dare not have fun with markers and our sketchbooks. The philosophy of doing everything for the joy it brings isn't much different from compassion. It's difference is that it takes compassion further from caring for a broken soul to liberating and strengthening the soul with the utmost generosity. Again we are faced with shame. We need to live life for joy rather than suffering as a way to pay for our right to take up space in this world, to be here. It must be a daily mantra either written where we can see it everyday or something that we say to ourselves daily as part of our self discipline and compassion.
And the next thing that we need to give ourselves is knowledge of ourselves. Again compassion comes into play and self discipline to firmly guide ourselves to unflinchingly know who we are. It can take years for some artists to truly know who they are and what they are about. Until we know we will jump from one thing to another, changing our minds because we doubt our innermost callings and are trying to shut them out. We may want to trade in what we feel called to do for something that would be more acceptable to society or something that would create more financial stability. Obviously we are always being pulled off our center in one form or another. After some time we may come to the truth ourselves. That no matter what we do, it is a risk whether it's considered safer financially or looks better on paper. Once we know this we see that we might as well commit ourselves to our truest calling. We also may see that every choice we make takes energy and time. We may find that our choice might threaten to eclipse our calling which we had previously fooled ourselves into believing that there would be time for.
Trusting our instincts is another great asset for an artist. We would think that this goes without saying but often artists are led to believe that to get through their artistic blocks that they have to be led by the hand. The artist and crafts person is a person that needs to be in touch with their instincts supremely, more than anyone. To have our instincts restored to the fullest strength that they can be we must know ourselves. We cannot sniff out the best path for ourselves if we don't know where we want to be. We must consider our futures and look closely at our choices for where they will lead us. Is it where we want to be? We must also study the intentions we have behind our choices. With our instincts our awareness is sharp, seeing all of the details of our choices and where it will lead. Instincts come in handy where people are concerned which an artist needs to be aware of. We are sensitive. We care and feel because deep down we believe it is right and part of a thriving spirit. Yet it opens ourselves to pain. The pain from alienation and cold criticism from others. The pain of competing egos and self centered artistic rock stars hoping to eclipse every artist who crosses their paths. We can feel shame for not being able to get along with everyone or we can choose to trust our instincts about a person for not being good for our souls. Our instincts also guide us for how to stroke the canvas or paper or clay. Our instincts tell us how to move. Our instincts alert us to danger. Our instincts tell us our deepest wisdom that is innate. Even with training, an artists greatest resource is to still trust their instincts. Without instincts there would have been no growth and no discovery in any form of art, dance, fashion, technology. Instincts are following a hunch. The universal energy in which we live, if we believe in such a thing speaks through us to carry evolution on. There can be no evolution, no enterprise and discovery without instinct. We trust our instincts when we have true compassion for ourselves and when we know ourselves. We trust ourselves to know what is best regardless of what another may say or the dirty look they may give us. Pioneers of any new growth or movement tend to be alienated and shunned. Something about them or maybe many things rubs people the wrong way. The more different an artist is the more they are challenged to know themselves and to remain centered with compassionate awareness.
Artists need times of privacy. We mostly believe that artists are only valuable once their "product" is out there. Much emphasis is places on the business of art rather than the quiet and introverted moments of development in deep listening. Deep listening for any person, spiritual, artist or not requires privacy. Time and space for us to feel unseen and unexposed. A time when we feel completely alone. We must be able to love being alone, to love the patient process of deep listening to our instincts of what color to use, of how to apply it to what surface, of what words to write, what note to hit. When we are seen, we are telling a story of some kind, rather than creating it. Very often our deepest voice cannot be heard when the loudness of society if beckoning. When we must be performing. It takes a lot of time alone to develop centered-ness to be able to hear our voice when on display on front of others. This is why it can feel so naked for an artist to suddenly be drawing or painting, weaving or singing onfront of people or an audience. We need privacy to remember that we are doing what we do for the joy it brings. Art for the sake of it rather than for the sale or for the prestige. With privacy we are allowing ourselves a time to not perform, to not consent to being a circus animal dazzling a crowd with tricks. This privacy may involve a deep and quiet time of not showing art to anyone. Development needs an incubation period. It needs a time to exist unseen by the world while it builds it's strength to handle the outside world. An artist may go through this multiple times through their life rather than only at the very beginning. If an artist allows such growth then this creates an environment for an ability to begin anew. We often doubt the new callings if we have established ourselves fearing that we won't be understood or as "successful" as our previous artistic development. Privacy and solitude is sacred. We forget this in our culture which values extrovertedness. An artist needs to be seen and known and yet an artist needs that special space away from prying eyes and voices. These days we especially believe that success is found by selling ourselves all the time, over and over again. Making sure that we are heard and seen. After awhile an artist may burn out from this activity. They may feel it is hopeless because they then come to value their art based off of facebook likes, how many people have shared or seen their work. An artist can begin to develop a fear of being forgotten, unknown. We all define success differently. Many of us define success by being in a gallery or selling a lot of our work, attracting respect and being written about in articles for our work. Yet there are artists and craftspeople who are unknown and who are happy because they are doing what they love. There is no friction between themselves and the outside worlds. They simply do what they do and follow their nose. They create their goals but realize that attachment to a goal of success could lead them to joy or not. The goal of success may or may not happen and they understand that they can only do so much to control that. But they can control the quality of the experience that they have in life and in their art and their craft. You have a choice to see how may choices that you really do have. Choices are best seen in times of quiet and solitude in a room of ones own, in the woods, by the sea, in bed, in times of in between and in dreams. In our privacy our dreams are the center, the most important, the main event. In privacy we taste the texture of listening.
These are the things I have applied to my life. There are no hard and fast rules. They are flexible because each person is different. There can be no one size fits all approach to breaking through creative blocks. Each artist must act as shamanic healer and psychologist to themselves. We must know for ourselves who we are and what we need. What we need to keep and what we need to let go of. Whether it's ideas, beliefs, choices or people. We can do this for ourselves. We are artists and do not need to be led by the hand. It may feel that way at first if we have joined the ranks in tearing ourselves down, creating a state of vulnerability. But we can and we must find the healthiest ways to be strong and empowered, liberated all through our creative lives.
I have thought on creative blocks to overcome my own over the years and I've learned that in order for a person to "break through" there are a number of things needed and to be done in balance.
The first is compassion. Without compassion, all of our efforts are hard edged and the animal instinct in us quite rightly so, will buck and kick at any effort to "force" anything. This can be the hardest part for all of us no mater where we come from and what we do for a living. Because compassion is the hardest for us to give to ourselves most of the time, it is in my opinion, the main reason why so many artists of any kind fail to overcome their personal blocks. All of us have very personal and unique ways of being mean to ourselves that have been taught to us by the culture and by our family. Without compassion, artists cannot deal with the predicament that they are in for being an artist at this time in history. This predicament is unspoken especially for isolated artists. Everyone has a subconscious understanding of how artists and craftspeople are perceived. Without compassion we are not able to put words to our deepest shame which by it's nature enforces silence and with that silence shame builds in strength.
The second thing that we need to do is self motivation and discipline. Self motivation is important for any artist. At some point in an artists or crafts persons life they will not have anyone who is behind them. Work is done alone and therefore we may not have a cheer leading squad to back us up. Or artists will most certainly be faced with a life situation which may threaten to eclipse their creativity. Self motivation and discipline paired with compassion act as a gentle but firm guiding hand through difficult times. Self discipline and compassion give us a steady endurance and energy to take on tasks that first seem overwhelming or intimidating to us and to commit our energy to doing them every day.
The third is a philosophy built around joy. Often artists and craftspeople become caught up in business and mainstream culture philosophies such as "achievement", "money", and "respect". We become overly concerned with being amazing geniuses as a way to compensate for deep shame for being an artist. We often feel we must always do better than ordinary to prove ourselves worthy for being artists enjoying ourselves while others are toiling at crap jobs sweating and bleeding at the brow. We often create value around anything that has had suffering or a process of denying the self of happiness in some form. We create martyr complexes instead of art because with this mindset we dare not practice. Everything must be a fabulous, genius and final, complete piece of work. We dare not have fun with markers and our sketchbooks. The philosophy of doing everything for the joy it brings isn't much different from compassion. It's difference is that it takes compassion further from caring for a broken soul to liberating and strengthening the soul with the utmost generosity. Again we are faced with shame. We need to live life for joy rather than suffering as a way to pay for our right to take up space in this world, to be here. It must be a daily mantra either written where we can see it everyday or something that we say to ourselves daily as part of our self discipline and compassion.
And the next thing that we need to give ourselves is knowledge of ourselves. Again compassion comes into play and self discipline to firmly guide ourselves to unflinchingly know who we are. It can take years for some artists to truly know who they are and what they are about. Until we know we will jump from one thing to another, changing our minds because we doubt our innermost callings and are trying to shut them out. We may want to trade in what we feel called to do for something that would be more acceptable to society or something that would create more financial stability. Obviously we are always being pulled off our center in one form or another. After some time we may come to the truth ourselves. That no matter what we do, it is a risk whether it's considered safer financially or looks better on paper. Once we know this we see that we might as well commit ourselves to our truest calling. We also may see that every choice we make takes energy and time. We may find that our choice might threaten to eclipse our calling which we had previously fooled ourselves into believing that there would be time for.
Trusting our instincts is another great asset for an artist. We would think that this goes without saying but often artists are led to believe that to get through their artistic blocks that they have to be led by the hand. The artist and crafts person is a person that needs to be in touch with their instincts supremely, more than anyone. To have our instincts restored to the fullest strength that they can be we must know ourselves. We cannot sniff out the best path for ourselves if we don't know where we want to be. We must consider our futures and look closely at our choices for where they will lead us. Is it where we want to be? We must also study the intentions we have behind our choices. With our instincts our awareness is sharp, seeing all of the details of our choices and where it will lead. Instincts come in handy where people are concerned which an artist needs to be aware of. We are sensitive. We care and feel because deep down we believe it is right and part of a thriving spirit. Yet it opens ourselves to pain. The pain from alienation and cold criticism from others. The pain of competing egos and self centered artistic rock stars hoping to eclipse every artist who crosses their paths. We can feel shame for not being able to get along with everyone or we can choose to trust our instincts about a person for not being good for our souls. Our instincts also guide us for how to stroke the canvas or paper or clay. Our instincts tell us how to move. Our instincts alert us to danger. Our instincts tell us our deepest wisdom that is innate. Even with training, an artists greatest resource is to still trust their instincts. Without instincts there would have been no growth and no discovery in any form of art, dance, fashion, technology. Instincts are following a hunch. The universal energy in which we live, if we believe in such a thing speaks through us to carry evolution on. There can be no evolution, no enterprise and discovery without instinct. We trust our instincts when we have true compassion for ourselves and when we know ourselves. We trust ourselves to know what is best regardless of what another may say or the dirty look they may give us. Pioneers of any new growth or movement tend to be alienated and shunned. Something about them or maybe many things rubs people the wrong way. The more different an artist is the more they are challenged to know themselves and to remain centered with compassionate awareness.
Artists need times of privacy. We mostly believe that artists are only valuable once their "product" is out there. Much emphasis is places on the business of art rather than the quiet and introverted moments of development in deep listening. Deep listening for any person, spiritual, artist or not requires privacy. Time and space for us to feel unseen and unexposed. A time when we feel completely alone. We must be able to love being alone, to love the patient process of deep listening to our instincts of what color to use, of how to apply it to what surface, of what words to write, what note to hit. When we are seen, we are telling a story of some kind, rather than creating it. Very often our deepest voice cannot be heard when the loudness of society if beckoning. When we must be performing. It takes a lot of time alone to develop centered-ness to be able to hear our voice when on display on front of others. This is why it can feel so naked for an artist to suddenly be drawing or painting, weaving or singing onfront of people or an audience. We need privacy to remember that we are doing what we do for the joy it brings. Art for the sake of it rather than for the sale or for the prestige. With privacy we are allowing ourselves a time to not perform, to not consent to being a circus animal dazzling a crowd with tricks. This privacy may involve a deep and quiet time of not showing art to anyone. Development needs an incubation period. It needs a time to exist unseen by the world while it builds it's strength to handle the outside world. An artist may go through this multiple times through their life rather than only at the very beginning. If an artist allows such growth then this creates an environment for an ability to begin anew. We often doubt the new callings if we have established ourselves fearing that we won't be understood or as "successful" as our previous artistic development. Privacy and solitude is sacred. We forget this in our culture which values extrovertedness. An artist needs to be seen and known and yet an artist needs that special space away from prying eyes and voices. These days we especially believe that success is found by selling ourselves all the time, over and over again. Making sure that we are heard and seen. After awhile an artist may burn out from this activity. They may feel it is hopeless because they then come to value their art based off of facebook likes, how many people have shared or seen their work. An artist can begin to develop a fear of being forgotten, unknown. We all define success differently. Many of us define success by being in a gallery or selling a lot of our work, attracting respect and being written about in articles for our work. Yet there are artists and craftspeople who are unknown and who are happy because they are doing what they love. There is no friction between themselves and the outside worlds. They simply do what they do and follow their nose. They create their goals but realize that attachment to a goal of success could lead them to joy or not. The goal of success may or may not happen and they understand that they can only do so much to control that. But they can control the quality of the experience that they have in life and in their art and their craft. You have a choice to see how may choices that you really do have. Choices are best seen in times of quiet and solitude in a room of ones own, in the woods, by the sea, in bed, in times of in between and in dreams. In our privacy our dreams are the center, the most important, the main event. In privacy we taste the texture of listening.
These are the things I have applied to my life. There are no hard and fast rules. They are flexible because each person is different. There can be no one size fits all approach to breaking through creative blocks. Each artist must act as shamanic healer and psychologist to themselves. We must know for ourselves who we are and what we need. What we need to keep and what we need to let go of. Whether it's ideas, beliefs, choices or people. We can do this for ourselves. We are artists and do not need to be led by the hand. It may feel that way at first if we have joined the ranks in tearing ourselves down, creating a state of vulnerability. But we can and we must find the healthiest ways to be strong and empowered, liberated all through our creative lives.
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